I'm discovering something about myself that may not be a surprise to many of you. I'm finding that I can be at times quite shallow. When it comes to movies I'm perfectly okay with someone going from thirteen to thirty via magic dust and watching Hollywood's happy endings, but when it comes to something as sacred as my prayer life, I'm greatly in need of a swim to the deeper end.

Where did this come from? Ryan was going through an old prayer journal and he came across a date from 2001 where he had asked me how he could pray for me. Here's how the list went: Pray for me because I have a Physical Chemistry exam at 6, then a history quiz tomorrow at 11, I also need prayer for a paper that I have to write. Oh and something about psychology - I forgot I took that! That was it!! Fast forward to my most recent prayer request - I need prayer as I write my thesis. Eight years have gone by and my prayer life has barely budged from the daily happenings in my school-life. Now granted - I have been in school for more years than most people would attribute to my age - but I would have hoped that I would have matured spiritually as I did academically.

I'm being hard on myself - but sometimes I think that's good. And I know that God loves to hear our every prayer - I will never debate that. But why wasn't there sprinkled amongst the prayers for good grades and academic endurance a prayer for the lonely, the sick, the hungry, and those who don't know how much Christ loves them? Why weren't there petitions for growth in love and humility? I'm reminded of Scripture that exhorts us to seek first the Kingdom of God.

I'm doing the Beth Moore Bible study, Esther. And it is wonderful! Beth pointed out that when Esther's eyes were opened from her sheltered life as a queen to what was going on beyond the palace gates she realized that it was time for some serious prayer and fasting and was quick to do so. My prayer is that my eyes will be opened from my sheltered life, to all that is going on beyond my own "gate" - and realize that now is the time for some serious prayer and fasting.