What do you mean it's not a science?!

So it all started last Tuesday afternoon. I was having some serious contractions. And what do I mean by serious? Like the movies, where you have to stop and someone tells you to breathe and everything! I love drama! Well, the drama soon dissipated and I was left wondering what in the world had just happened. So I decided to call some of my friends who had recently experienced childbirth and ask them for any advice that they might have.

Pause for a moment.

I am a scientist by training. When we do an experiment, we follow a certain protocol and expect specific results. These protocols are written up in fancy science magazines called journal articles and if at any time we want to repeat an experiment, we look it up and it typically works. Kind of like a recipe. We call this reproducibility. It's fabulous. Safe, predictable, controlled.

Now, back to Tuesday afternoon.

Understanding my background, you might now understand why I somewhat naively expected them to say... "Yes, of course, I have this written down somewhere. Oh, here it is...30 days before my due date I began having serious contractions and then they went away 3 hours later and then 28 days later I had the baby." What I heard instead from my friends and family members was that it was different for all of them. And this has been the case for everyone I ask. No two stories alike. And then my childbirth class teacher said this, "Labor is not a science." What?!

It's not as if I really expected it to be one. I've seen enough TLC. But deep inside I think I wanted it to be one. Why? That would make it safe, predictable, and controlled. I would be prepared. I think what I'm trying to say is that this uncertainty, this unknown territory that I am approaching is slightly terrifying! The only thing that is consistent is that there will be pain, it will at some time come 5 minutes apart (and knowing my luck it will jump from 7 to 3 minutes, really throwing this scientist off!)

I was thinking about this at breakfast one morning, somewhat frustrated that I really have no idea what is about to happen - and then I remembered Scripture that I had memorized years ago, Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding." My understanding of childbirth is so limited, there is nothing to lean on, and even if I would spend years doing careful research, it still could end up being different from my actual experience. All I can do is trust. This isn't like going into an exam fully prepared. I have no idea how to prepare. I have to let go of my wish to control, believe that God is in control, and completely trust Him.

So what I've learned from all of this is that, although journal articles are necessary for work, it's better that I stick to another Journal for life. :)